Relationship Therapy for One

“My picker is broken!”

That’s what the young woman exclaimed as she literally plopped down and crossed her legs beneath her on my comfortable, leather loveseat for the first time. I smile every time I think of her. I’ll call her Lori*.

In her mid-twenties and successful in many ways, Lori had noticed a bad pattern. From her early teen years, she had been in a series of unhealthy relationships with guys.

At what I think is a pretty young age, she had decided to stop blaming everyone else. She suspected part of the problem might be within herself. She was ready to face the music and focus on the one she could change. Herself.

Counseling is about overcoming struggles.

Many people come to counseling because they’re struggling in their relationships – spouses, children, parents, co-workers, friends, even with random strangers.

Often, relationship conflicts are leading to feelings of depression and anxiety.

It can all become a mixed-up mess.

Thinking of counseling may seem daunting.

Lori admitted being nervous about coming to counseling.

She had never done anything like this before and didn’t know anyone who had.

The important people in her life had discouraged her from coming; but she gathered her courage, and we went to work.

Counseling starts with a conversation.

So, what happens and how does it help?

I will listen as you tell your story. Together, we’ll get clear about what isn’t working, and we’ll get clear about the things you’ll need to learn and do differently to be more at peace in your relationships – with yourself and with others.

Counseling requires work on your part.

The nature of counseling is that what you do between sessions makes a tremendous difference in your progress. Thus, homework. Usually, there will be a book or two for you to be reading or listening to.

In this kind of work, typically we’ll do some looking back. This is not for the purpose of blame, but because I believe it’s necessary to understand where you’ve been, what happened to you, and how you were affected in order to move forward.

Relationship therapy is about learning and growing.

You will grow in the way you value yourself and others. This is sometimes called self-esteem.

You will learn about what it means to have healthy boundaries with yourself and others. This learning process teaches you to keep your eyes wide open to what is really happening around you and to be willing to deal with reality.

You will grow in your ability to experience and express your emotions moderately, while learning to live a balanced life in terms of your dependence on and independence from others.

It is time to create peace out of chaos.

As counseling progresses, in time you notice more peace and less chaos within yourself and your relationships.

It’s true that relationships are often messy, but you have learned they don’t have to be a constant source of pain.

With new growth and new skills within and without, you are creating a life of beauty.

Are you ready to begin creating a more beautiful life?

Call me at (214) 458-0647, and let’s work together as you learn to overcome your struggles and grow into a new life.